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Online Messaging

Online Messaging – Mastering the Art

Online messaging when done correctly can be incredibly powerful. Think about the many millions of people who log in to their online dating profiles every day. When they check their inboxes, they want to be inspired or see a spark that makes them think that today could be the day they meet someone special. They don’t want to be faced with scrolling through the monotonous copy and pasted variations on ‘Hey, how are you?’

The key to success when contacting a potential match online is understanding the art of messaging. While you don’t have to be a poet or a wordsmith to get someone’s attention, here are some top tips to improve the quality of your messages when reaching out to a potential match.


Quality is more important than quantity

While you need to do better than ‘Hi,’ you shouldn’t write an essay, either. As opposed to how much or little you say, what you say will make all the difference. Think about the following when composing your message:

  • Ask a direct, open question that necessitates an answer.
  • Be polite, friendly, and courteous.
  • Skip the gags and innuendos.
  • Prove that you’ve read her profile.

A carefully constructed and insightful introduction will dramatically improve your response rate with matches while online dating.


Good grammar is super important

Messages that are poorly written and laden with grammatical errors won’t do anything to impress your potential matches. While nobody is expecting you to be Shakespeare, you need to get the basics right.

This is even more important when communicating with someone who doesn’t speak English as their first language. Remember that they’re likely to run some of your text through a translator, so make sure it’s eligible and grammatically correct to avoid any miscommunications.


Be confident, not arrogant

There’s an extremely fine line between confidence and arrogance, particularly when you’re hoping to secure a date. Being confident is believing in yourself and acknowledging that you’re able to do what you set out to do.

On the other hand, arrogance is thinking that you will easily land a date because of how great you are. When introducing yourself, read your message back before sending it. If you come across as arrogant, consider re-writing it and softening your approach. Arrogance isn’t an attractive trait and is likely to put your match off.


Get to the point

Too often, people waffle when they’re messaging potential matches online. They get caught up in storytelling and don’t move the conversation on. But, at the end of the day, you’re messaging someone you hope to date and develop a relationship with.

After connecting and flirting back and forth, don’t wait too long to make your move. Ask her to have a chat via video call or propose a first date over coffee before your conversation goes too far. The worst she can say is no, so don’t be scared to be direct and to the point.


You only have one chance to make a good first impression with your potential matches online, so it’s important that you don’t screw it up. Hopefully, these tips will help you introduce yourself in a positive and memorable way and give you the best possible chance of finding the perfect match online.

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